The Reality of Social Media Reciprocity
Interestingly, many people think that if you follow someone on Twitter or are connected to them on Facebook, LinkedIn, or are following their blogs, that they are obligated to connect with you. This does not actually give you any entitlement.
The truth is that they don’t owe you a thing based on the connection alone. Each person (you as well as others) must decide who you want to connect with online and who you want to interact with online. Each person may have a different motivation for wanting to connect with someone online. The rules of engagement are completely subjective and each person decides what they want from relationships and how far they want to carry those relationships. You don’t need online connections (at least not in the life-or-death sense); you want to have them and you understand how valuable they are for you and your business.
Quality over quantity
As I am sure you are aware, you must always choose quality over quantity when it comes to your online connections. If you indiscriminately accept every online invitation to connect with others, you will end up with a very large number of connections. However, are those connections worthwhile and can you build strong and lasting relationships from them? If your connections are superficial, they won’t hold much value. They are, however, a good starting point for building and maintaining meaningful relationships at some point in the future.
Social media will only be successful for you if you put in the work that is required to make it flourish. You need to dedicate consistent time and effort for it to pay off for you and your business. Once you have established meaningful connections with other people, you must build the relationships so that they last indefinitely. One of the best ways to do that is by sharing valuable and interesting information with them that you think they will be interested in and that will help them to solve whichever issues they are experiencing.
Respect is earned, not given away freely
As you are going along on your journey of building relationships that will be strong and lasting, you must understand that reciprocity can come in many different forms. One of the best forms lies within the interactions and the multifaceted discussions that evolve online. All sorts of wonderful things can come out of that. If you are connecting on social media for the right reason, in other words, to help people without worrying about helping yourself, you will be successful through your social media efforts.
If you come across some information that you feel is valuable enough not only for you but to share with others, share it. You shouldn’t worry about what you are getting from other people. The more thoughtful and considerate you are and the more valuable information you share with other people, the more they will be inclined to do the same. Of course, it feels great when people reciprocate. That is a normal human reaction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. However, you shouldn’t expect reciprocity. People don’t owe you anything. You should never give something to another person because you expect something in return. You should only give for the sake of giving.
Conclusion
Human beings give to one another and they like the way that it feels. The idea of helping others makes you feel like you are doing something good. Mutuality and reciprocity are both important parts of any relationship but they have to come about in a natural and easy way. All relationships must give and take. If both people in the relationship have the interests of the other in mind, everyone’s needs and wants will be satisfied.
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Unless you run across someone with similar interests, and you have something to add to their experience or they might have something to add to your experience, there doesn't seem to be much point in connecting with them. I've had people say they are following me because I'm interesting. I wish they were following me so they could buy my books! (Note tongue in cheek). Hopefully they'll find a tidbit of wisdom that will make their lives better for having followed me. I only follow a few on Twitter, and I always examine an invite on Linkedin to see if we have a valid similarity of interests. I'm reluctant to take advantage of friends for favors, but will offer trades of services or advice to people with similar interests.
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Group: CMS User Group
Discussion: The Reality of Social Media Reciprocity
I would like to add to this from a web develpment company/SEO perspective.
The real goal for anyone wanting to get traction on their site along with better conversion rates is not to lead people to your Facebook page from your site, but to bring them from Facebook to your site.
What we have been trending over the last year is that sites which make it too easy to move from a website to Facebook often loses that page view to Facebook and they don't come back. So, Facebook just absorbed your viewer.
The goal is to drive people from Facebook to your site so conentrate there on making your webiste as information as possible and any content on Facebook should be trailers, not complete articles IMHO.
This is part of the reciprocity from our take on this.
Thoughts?
Posted by Eric Caldwell
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Group: A Solo Business – Solopreneurs And Business Owners
Discussion: The Reality of Social Media Reciprocity
Food for thought! Reciprocity doesn't just mean mutual connection. It means they don't have to recommend you for something (when you've never worked together) or accept your invitations or play your games. Thanks for the article.
Posted by Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
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Group: "Write It Down"-A Website for Writers
Discussion: The Reality of Social Media Reciprocity
This article is very interesting and offers deep points of discussion. It also helps to understand the correct function of social media and its correct usage. It should be read and worked out with young people in schools and youth centres. Well done!
Posted by Carlostella Rosanna
This is a good reminder — we do each create our own rules of engagement on social media and it does require putting in the time and effort to build those real connections and provide value to demonstrate our expertise.
Social media is much less stressful when we relax and focus on our side of the equation, not expecting reciprocity but trusting that providing consistent value will bring results.
A great topic Michael,
I'd add that there's a follow-up of 'and if someone doesn't follow me back then I'll un-follow them'. Which reveals that the only reason for the original follow was to expect a follow-back, with the desired result that the follow-back would then read your content – or more typically in this scenario, your sales promotion messages.
I saw this occur on Twitter where there was/is a 90% ratio to get through the 2000 following limit. Therefore you 'had to' un-follow those who didn't follow-back in order to continue climbing. However the quality of the 'Followers' (or effectively your list) was eroded, as you point out, unless the quality of your content was high value, in which case you'd anticipate a high follow-back in the first place.
Eric C makes a great point, that Social Media should drive traffic to your website, where you engage and capture their email address for follow-up nurture. The reason for adding Social Share to the website is so that visitors Share stuff they like with their followers, not that they bounce off to your social channel. If this is happening then it's worth a long hard look at what value is being put on the website, to make it worth sharing and signing up for more.
It’s certainly true that you can get a lot of spammy followers on Twitter, but honestly, without the on-line relationships I have built over the last decade, I never would have had the resources, contacts, or guts to go it full-time freelance.
Notice I said a decade…I’ve been interacting with people on-line since before Twitter and Facebook, and am now expanding my contacts via those platforms, slowly but surely.
And a great deal of that expansion is through virtual “introductions” and having my bona fides, as it were, attested to by professionals in the publishing industry and authors who have become friends through a long, natural process.
I addressed this networking issue in a recent blog post on my new website; genuine connection is key — you can’t just Tweet someone “LOVED UR BOOK — Need an freelancer?” or write some throwaway comment on a blog, while using it basically only to promote your own services.
Most of the people I interact with are pretty canny and experienced in utilizing social media, and if a person or business if just spamming, basically, then they will sniff that out, and your professional reputation will be marred.
The connections have to be real, genuine and, like any relationship, it takes time to establish trust.
But the payoff is SO worth the time in the long run — both professionally and personally.
Spot on. A genuine favor should be reciprocated. A forced quid-pro-quo from a stranger should not. To do so cheapens the custom.